Stay as Long as Possible
by x.imagine.x
Summary: Sometimes he lies in bed at night and tries to imagine what would happen if he woke up tomorrow, packed his bags, and got on a plane back home. He misses home. But every time he seriously starts to consider leaving, something stops him, or rather, someone. Cam/Maya
1. Part 1: Cam

**Disclaimer: Don't own Degrassi**

**A/N: Ok, so it's been a LONG time since I've had any time or inclination to write anything, so hopefully it isn't TOO obvious that I'm a little rusty. I'll post a second part from Maya's point of view hopefully soon (maybe later tonight) and then see where to go from there**

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**Stay as Long as Possible**

**Part 1: Cam**

He won't admit it, but he still hates hockey. He lies to the coach and the doctors and says he doesn't feel one hundred percent quite yet, but he can't keep doing it. He would much rather pack up and go back home than stay here and play. He only did it because his dad wanted him to anyways. Besides, after all the years of time and money his parents have put in to supporting this dream of his, abandoning it wouldn't be fair to them.

Sure, his parents have come to visit him a couple of times since the semester started, but it's not the same as actually being home. He doesn't get to relax in his room, or fight with his brother over the remote. He gets to show his parents around town and see them off at the airport instead. He doesn't want to keep doing this, yet he can't bring himself to leave.

Sometimes he wonders what it would be like to just quit, though. Sometimes he lies in bed at night and tries to imagine what would happen if he woke up tomorrow, packed his bags, and got on a plane back home. He misses home. But every time he seriously starts to consider leaving, something stops him, or rather, some_one_.

If he quits hockey and goes back home, it means he'll leave Maya, and she's the one thing in his life right now that makes him happy. When he thinks about leaving, his mind inevitably leads back to her, and what he would do without her. He knows his parents would say he's too young to be thinking like this about a girl, but he can't help it. She's the one person he can be honest with about how he feels. Sometimes it feels like she's the only thing keeping him functioning. She is the one thing he likes about Toronto, and he can't imagine leaving her. He tries not to think about what will happen come summer, because then he'll have to leave, and she'll have to stay, and he knows that if he leaves he might not come back. They haven't talked about it yet, and he doesn't know how to approach the subject.

No matter how he looks at it, he'll eventually have to leave Toronto. It's just a matter of when and how.

"What are you thinking about?"

He glances down at the top of Maya's blonde head resting against his chest and smiles. "Who says I'm thinking about anything?"

"You're awfully quiet."

He laughs. "That's because I'm watching the movie."

He feels her shifting and raises an eyebrow as her face appears in front of him.

"You are not," she accuses.

"Well not anymore. Your head's in the way," he jokes.

She rolls her eyes, grinning. "You never watch the movie, Cam."

He smiles. "So maybe I wanted to try it out for once. Unless…"

She laughs at the suggestive tone in his voice as a slight pink tint rises to her cheeks. She drops a light kiss on his lips and settles back into her previous position leaning against his side.

"I was thinking about how happy you make me," he answers quietly, kissing the top of her head softly as he runs his fingers lightly across her arm.

He feels rather than sees her smile this time. "You make me happy, too."

No, he doesn't want to play hockey anymore, and yes, he wants to go home, but he will stay as long as possible for her.


	2. Part 2: Maya

**A/N: Ok, so here's Maya's point of view!**

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**Stay As Long As Possible**

**Part 2: Maya**

She knows he still isn't completely happy. She can see it in his eyes when he thinks no one is watching. She knows he misses his family, and she knows he's lying to his doctor. Yet every time they're together, he seems brighter, as though a weight has been lifted off his shoulders and he's free to just be Cam. It's what she looks forward to most about seeing him.

She wants him to be happy more than anything, but she knows that what would really make him happy would be quitting hockey and moving back home, and she's too selfish to encourage him to do it. The truth is that she doesn't know what she would do without him. She tries to picture it sometimes, but in every imagined scenario he's there beside her. She knows Katie would say she's naïve for feeling like this, and that she doesn't actually know anything about this stuff yet, but she can't help it. Her sister was wrong about Cam when they started dating, and she would be wrong about her feelings now. She tries her best not to think about what will happen when summer comes. They haven't even talked about it yet. It just hangs between them, the unacknowledged elephant in the room neither of them will approach.

The thought of the conversation scares her. She doesn't want to lose him, but she knows that when he leaves she may never see him again. She should really bring it up soon. Katie always told her that ripping the Band-Aid off was better than slowly peeling it back. Of course, she told her that right before she ripped one off, and it still hurt like hell. Either way, the conversation was going to happen, and it was going to hurt. Maybe she should just get it over with.

"What are you thinking about?" She asks, her head resting on his chest as they sit on the couch in his billet's living room.

She can feel him smiling. "Who says I'm thinking about anything?"

"You're awfully quiet."

He laughs. "That's because I'm watching the movie."

She laughs and pushes herself up so her eyes are level with his. His eyes are gorgeous, but she can see the smallest hint of sadness in them and knows exactly what he was thinking about.

"You are not," she accuses, avoiding the conversation she knows is inevitable once again.

"Well not anymore. Your head's in the way."

She rolls her eyes, grinning. "You never watch the movie, Cam."

He smiles. "So maybe I wanted to try it out for once. Unless…"

She laughs at the suggestive tone in his voice as a slight pink tint rises to her cheeks. As much as she hates it, he can still make her nervous. She drops a light kiss on his lips and settles back against his side.

"I was thinking about how happy you make me," he murmurs, kissing the top of her head softly and running his fingers lightly across her arm.

She smiles against his shirt. "You make me happy, too."

She lets it go, once again. She just can't bring herself to ruin the time they have left together. So instead, she'll keep ignoring the issue, and stay as long as possible before it's time to go.

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**A/N: Ok, so I'm not too sure if I want to continue this or not. I'll see if I get any more inspiration to do any more.**


	3. Part 3: Cam

**A/N: Ok, so I'm thinking I may be able to continue this. I've got a couple more ideas in my head for where this could go, hopefully it works out!**

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**Stay As Long As Possible**

**Part 3: Cam**

He stares at his hands to avoid making eye contact. He knows he has to do it. He's procrastinated for two months already, and there's only a month left. He finally got back out on the ice a few weeks ago, even though he didn't want to. There comes a point when you just have to suck it up. No matter how much you don't want to, you have to do the things you'd rather not, and you have to have the hard conversations.

He's a bit embarrassed to admit he talked to his mom about it the night before, but talking to her always seems to solve his problems. Of course, the topic was strictly Maya. No mention of hockey whatsoever. Talking about Maya with his mother makes the situation seem almost normal. He can almost pretend that she's there across from him, not just an image on a computer screen.

He's had quite the dilemma this year. His parents came up to visit last month, and he finally introduced them to Maya at his mother's insistence. It relieved some of the tension when they got along, but he was still conflicted when his parents left. He spent even more time after that weighing his options. His mother told him that he couldn't make the decision on his own, and he finally realized that she was right. He has to talk to Maya and see where she stands on the matter before he does anything. Maybe she doesn't even want to stay together over the summer. Maybe she sees their relationship as temporary. The idea that she might not be as serious as he is frightens him, but it's time to suck it up.

"We should talk," he finally says. She looks up from her French homework, not as surprised as he expected.

"We should," she agrees, and closes her books.

He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He's supposed to be this great hockey prodigy, yet he can't form a sentence to speak to his girlfriend. He glances up and sees that she's staring at her fingers, too. Without thinking about it, he reaches across the table and covers her hands with his own. She looks up, and he knows it's now or never.

"The season's over in a month."

"I know."

"So… what are we going to do?" He asks, holding his breath as her eyes fall to their clasped hands.

"I don't know," she whispers.

"What do you _want_ to do?"

"I don't know," she repeats in the same whisper, "What normally happens in this situation?"

He laughs half-heartedly. "Well, I've never really been in this situation before. I'm not too sure what happens."

Her lips twitch in an attempt at a smile. "What do you _want_ to happen?"

He can tell she's avoiding being the one to say what she wants first. Just like him, she's scared he won't want the same thing. Time to suck it up.

"Maya… I really like you. A lot," He says, exhaling loudly once it's out. She opens her mouth to reply but he cuts her off. If he doesn't get it all out he may never do it. "Let me finish. I like you more than I thought I could, and I know we're young, and I know our families would say we're too young to try something crazy like this, but I don't think I could handle it if we didn't try. I'm not letting you go again, not without a fight. I want to try to stay together as long as possible. I want to make this work. It's only a few months."

He holds his breath while he waits for her to reply. He took the chance his mother told him he needed to take and laid it all out there. He can only hope that she feels the same way.


	4. Part 4: Maya

**A/N: Ok, so this one's a bit longer, and I'm also going to do this one a bit differently. It's from Maya's point of view, but it will start at the beginning of the conversation and then continue on into her answer. So a bit of overlap with Cam's, but a bit of plot continuation so it isn't just repetition. Let me know if you like it better like this, or the way I did the first two parts, where it's the same situation from both points of view.**

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**Stay As Long As Possible**

**Part 4: Maya**

"We should talk," he says, breaking the silence between them. She looks up from her French homework, already knowing what's coming.

"We should," she agrees, and closes her books.

She has to admit the timing is a bit random. She didn't know when she expected it, but it wasn't right now. It was inevitable, but she'd hoped they'd have more time. A foolish, naïve part of her had thought that, if she didn't think about it, the issue would eventually go away. Stupid, she knows.

"The season's over in a month."

"I know."

"So… what are we going to do?" He asks. Her eyes fall to their clasped hands.

"I don't know," she whispers. It's true. She doesn't know what they are going to do. Katie would tell her she's stupid for trying a long distance relationship at her age, but the thought of leaving here today newly single makes her stomach hurt. She wants to try, but maybe he doesn't. If she tells him that she wants to try to defy the odds and he says that he'd rather just throw in the towel, she doesn't think she could stand it.

"What do you _want_ to do?"

"I don't know," she repeats in the same whisper, "What normally happens in this situation?"

He laughs half-heartedly. "Well, I've never really been in this situation before. I'm not too sure what happens."

Her lips twitch in an attempt at a smile, but the seriousness of the situation won't let her fully commit. "What do you _want_ to happen?"

She knows he's probably frustrated that she keeps avoiding the question, but she doesn't want to commit to an answer just yet. It's easier to just agree with whatever he says instead.

"Maya… I really like you. A lot," He says, exhaling loudly once it's out. She opens her mouth to reply but he cuts her off. "Let me finish. I like you more than I thought I could, and I know we're young, and I know our families would say we're too young to try something crazy like this, but I don't think I could handle it if we didn't try. I'm not letting you go again, not without a fight. I want to try to stay together as long as possible. I want to make this work. It's only a few months."

She can't believe he just said everything she wanted him to. She should be jumping up and down right now. She should be kissing him and telling him she wants that, too. So why isn't she?

_Because it won't work. You know it won't. You're 15, he's 16. There's no way this will work._

Trying means saying good-bye to him in a month. Trying means scheduling Skype dates and texting and phone calls, but not being able to physically touch him. Trying means trusting the hockey hotshot not to give in to the lifestyle his teammates lead, and him trusting her not to change her mind. Trying means making themselves vulnerable. Trying means they might ultimately fail. She can't bear the thought that they might grow apart and fizzle out during the summer, or that he might give in to the temptation to just stay home. She can't think about the possibility that the last conversation they have might be him telling her that he's decided not to come back.

_Maybe you won't._

Trying also means that they could succeed. Trying means that she might not have to say good-bye. Trying could make them stronger. The only thing holding her back is her fear.

She knows she's being selfish. He's already been doing this all year with his parents. How can she balk at a couple of months of Skype conversations when he's been living through this for much longer? Long distance isn't the end of the world, and she knows he isn't like his teammates. She already trusts him, and he trusts her.

"Uh… I think this is where you're supposed to say something…" He says, laughing nervously.

She looks up at him, and as their eyes meet her doubts seem to disappear. It's time to make a decision. "You're right. I like you a lot more than I thought I would, and as scared as I am that this won't work out, we have to try."

His face splits into a wide grin of relief.

We abandon our homework and break out the movies. It's almost as if it's a normal night, and we're a normal couple. Except we both know we aren't normal, as much as we may wish we were. The one normal thing about us is our determination to stay together as long as possible, but maybe that's all that really counts anyways.

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**A/N: Ok, so that was a terrible last sentence… I hope the rest of it wasn't as bad. I've got three more scenarios in mind that I want to cover, so that means six more chapters! Reviews are love!**


	5. Part 5: Cam

**A/N: Ok, sorry it's taken me so long! School has had me super busy this week. I wanted to at least put something up, so unfortunately this will be short. I'm hoping to get Maya's continuation up soon!**

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**Stay as Long as Possible**

**Part 5: Cam**

It's a bittersweet feeling, standing in the entrance. He can feel her breath on his neck and her arms wrapped tightly around him. He tightens his own grip. He doesn't want to let go, but knows he has to. He's tried twice now to loosen his arms from around her waist but he's failed both times. He'll give himself one more minute.

No matter how many different ways he tries to think about it, he can't bring himself to be happy about this. He's going to go home and see his family like he's wanted since the beginning of the year, but now that it's finally here he doesn't want to leave. He thinks of how happy his mother will be to see him, but right after remembers how sad Maya is watching him go. If he thinks ahead to how happy she'll be when he comes back, the vision of his mother with swimming eyes as he departs pushes its way into his mind. He's stuck in the middle, feeling miserable either way. He can't win.

He glances at the clock over the top of her head and his stomach tightens. It's almost time. One more minute. He doesn't want to let go. He wants to stay as long as possible.

He feels her arms tighten briefly before they're loosening. She's pulling away. She's letting go before he can.

Resigning himself to the inevitable, he loosens his arms and allows her to pull back to look him in the eyes. He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and kisses her softly.

"So, uh, don't let those crazy fan-girls back home make you forget about me," She says, attempting lightheartedness, but he can see the faint worry in her eyes. He knows she trusts him, but he also knows that she can't help the smallest bit of insecurity.

He gives her a lopsided smile. "Don't worry. You're the only fan-girl I want."

She smiles, and he copies her.

"Don't let any broody musicians steal you away, either," He says lightly. He can't help the smallest insecurity either.

She smiles reassuringly. "I won't."

Looking into her eyes at that moment, he has a sudden realization and, before he can think it through, the words are out. "I love you."

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**A/N: Ok, so I know that it's really short, but that felt like a good place to end it. I'll leave you with a bit of a cliff-hanger. Will she say it back? **


	6. Part 6: Maya

**A/N: Sorry it's taken so long! I've been attempting to study for my exams (not very successfully, but it's the effort that counts… right?)**

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**Stay as Long as Possible**

**Part 6: Maya**

She smiles at him as she reassures him that she won't let anyone steal her away. There's no chance that could happen. She's already made that mistake once with Zig. She's not about to make it again.

Something in his eyes changes and she starts to ask what's wrong when suddenly she hears it. Three words. Eight letters. The words she's pictured hearing a million times. In all of the scenarios her mind conjured up, standing in an airport saying good-bye never cropped up. She's so startled she can't get her brain to work. Everything seems just a bit fuzzy. He loves her.

She opens and closes her mouth a few times, trying to get sound to come out. He grins in amusement, but she can see the worry in his eyes. He's worried that he scared her off. She knows because she would feel the exact same way if she said it first. In fact, that was _why_ she didn't.

She grins like an idiot as her vocal chords finally work. "I love you, too."

His lips stretch into a smile of relief as he kisses her again. She closes her eyes and tries to memorize every detail of the moment, every detail of him, so she won't forget. She feels him step back from her and hears him pick up his bag, but she doesn't open her eyes. She doesn't want to see him walk away from her. She knows it's childish, but she can't help it. She feels his lips press one last kiss to her forehead, and then nothing. She opens her eyes to see the empty space in front of her, and slowly turns around. She's timed it perfectly. He's already standing on the other side of the gate, where she can't follow him. They lock eyes and he smiles, waves, and she returns the gestures before he turns and disappears into the crowd. She blinks away the blurriness clouding her vision. She promised herself she wouldn't cry. After all, it isn't good-bye. It's more of a 'see you later'.

She stays as long as she possibly can in the airport, watching the planes on the runway out the window. Even though he's disappeared from view, she can still hear the boarding calls from the loudspeaker. She stays until she hears the last call for his plane, and then turns to watch as one of the planes starts to slowly taxi down the runway. She stays in the same place until the plane becomes so small it disappears, and only then does she finally turn around and make her way out of the airport. It feels strange, leaving alone. It feels even stranger knowing that she'll spend the next three and a half months without once seeing him outside her door or beside her locker. But as she takes a breath of the fresh air outside the airport, she knows that four months isn't really _that_ long. This isn't the end of the world. They'll see each other again, and until then she can just keep repeating those words in her head. _I love you_.

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**A/N: Ok, so another short one! I'm planning to make the next ones longer, I promise!**


	7. Part 7: Cam

**A/N: Ok, here we go! Thank you to everyone who's reviewed thus far! Reviews fuel my fire!**

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**Stay as Long as Possible**

**Part 7: Cam**

It's not the same on a computer. It never has been, and it never will be. They've been talking over Skype every week and on the phone and texting almost every day. His brothers give him a hard time, but he does his best to ignore them. Truth be told he actually likes being teased. It's something he misses in Toronto. He's supposed to have developed these brotherly bonds with the team, but it doesn't feel anything like this. Nothing can compare to being home.

He doesn't want to, but he's been having doubts about whether he should return. As much as he loves Maya, being home with his family makes him think that this is where he truly belongs. He's still young and, as his father tells him, there are more girls out there. He's not at the age where children should be separated from their parents yet. He's not ready for this. He resorted to jumping off a balcony to avoid playing for Christ's sake. Things got a bit better after he switched positions, but the pressure of being the team's top point-getter got to him just as it always did. The older guys are jealous a rookie is leading the team in scoring and they don't hesitate to let him know. It isn't the same as brothers teasing each other.

He hates hockey, and he doesn't want to go back, but every time he's gotten himself to the point where he feels the decision is made, he sees her face on his computer screen and his resolve crumbles. He can see that their separation is just as hard on her as it is on him. He may hate hockey, but he loves Maya. He remembers a conversation he overheard between his parents before he left for Toronto at the beginning of the year. His mother hadn't wanted him to go, but his father told her that they had to let him do what he wanted to. He said that sometimes you had to make sacrifices for the ones you loved so that they could be happy, even if it made you less so. He understands what his father meant now. Hockey may make him less happy, but he keeps playing so that he can stay with Maya. However, his father also told him that there will be other girls. His father didn't believe him when he said that Maya could be the one. The older man just laughed, ruffled his hair, and told him that Maya was only the first. Part of him wonders if he should take his word for it. After all, his father is far older than him; he's already been through this, and knows much more than his son about any of this relationship business.

"Hey," he greets his best friend from back home, Terrance.

"Hey, man," his friend replies, stepping back to let him into the house. The party he was invited to is in full swing, but he declines the drink his friend offers him out of habit. He's never been one for alcohol, a tendency which is reinforced by his hockey coach. He's the only player who takes the coach's 'no drinking' rule seriously.

Terrance introduces him around to people he doesn't know, which is a larger number than he expected. He feels like an outsider, and he doesn't like it. He used to belong here. He used to fit in. Now he doesn't even know Terrance's girlfriend.

"Cam!" He turns to see Kara, one of the few people he actually knows here, coming toward him through the crowd of people. She wraps her arms around him without a second thought, and he returns the hug. "How have you been?"

He smiles in earnest for the first time since arriving. He and Kara have been friends since they were children, before he became a hockey prodigy. "Good, good."

She can tell he's lying. Kara is one of three people who can see through him. Before he knows it, he's spilling his guts to his childhood friend, and he can't even blame it on alcohol. After he finishes, Kara smiles sadly. "We all leave eventually; it's part of growing up. I'm actually kind of jealous. I think it's brave of you to do it so much earlier than the rest of us. I'm happy for you, Cam. It sounds like you really love her. You can't just walk away from that. She's a lucky girl." She kisses him on the cheek before rising and heading back into the crowd.

As she walks away, Cam can see clearly what would have happened if he'd stayed. He and Kara would have been good together. Before Toronto, he'd started to get a bit of a crush on her, and his mother always thought they'd end up getting together. But he chose the path that took him away from her and toward Maya. He's different now. He doesn't belong in this life anymore, but he's afraid doesn't belong in Toronto either.

"Hey," he smiles at her computerized face. She smiles back and returns the greeting. "How's Toronto?"

She makes a face. "Boring. How's everything there?"

"About the same."

"What's wrong?" She asks, the frown on her face forming after the words come through the computer. Skype at its best.

"Nothing," he lies, hoping she won't be able to tell.

"Cam." He should have known he can't fool her.

"Really, it's not a big deal. I've just been thinking a lot."

He watches as her face reflects what she's registering.

"What about?" She asks quietly.

He tries to think of a way to explain his thought processes. He's so confused himself he isn't sure how to articulate it to her.

"Are you coming back, Cam?" She asks, getting straight to the point.

He isn't sure what to tell her.

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**A/N: Ok, there it is. I'm so sorry it took so long! Next chapter will tell you what Cam decides.**


	8. Part 8: Maya

**A/N: Sorry it took so long! School's started up again so I'll try to finish up these last three chapters quickly. I got the idea for what I'm about to do after I posted the last chapter and I'm really disappointed that I didn't come up with it before I posted, because I definitely would have continued on and left off with the new idea instead, because I feel like Cam's had enough cliffhangers that are his fault… But oh well, this will have to do!**

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**Stay as Long as Possible**

**Part 8: Maya**

"Are you coming back, Cam?" She asks, her stomach in knots.

It's a question she doesn't want to ask, but one she needs answered. She needs to know where he stands, because lately he seems distant. She can see it in his eyes, even if it's only on a computer screen. She knows he must be struggling with his desire to stay with his family, but she's struggling, too. She wants to be understanding and patient, but her heart is on the line. She needs to know now whether or not he's going to break it.

"Look, Maya…" He starts, and her heart drops. She isn't ready for his answer yet. She wishes she hadn't asked. "I just… I'm not sure what I'm doing right now. I miss my family when I'm away, but I miss you like crazy right now. Either choice I make, someone's unhappy."

She nods. She understands the conflict. And then the solution hits her. She knows what she has to do. The only way for him to be happy is to know that both sides are happy. The only way for both sides to be happy is for one side to take themselves out of the equation. She needs to do this for him, for both of them.

"I've been thinking, too," she starts, her heart pounding. "Cam, I don't think I can keep this up. Maybe everyone was right. We're too young for long distance."

"What are you saying?" he asks slowly.

"I'm saying that maybe it would be best if…" she pauses and takes a deep breath. "If we just broke up."

There. The words are out, and he's free. He can quit hockey and stay with his family and be happy.

"You really feel that way?" he asks, and she can tell he's shocked.

She doesn't trust her voice, so she merely nods.

"Well… ok then. I guess if you don't want to keep doing this then we'll break up."

Everything sounds hollow to her ears as she nods again and disconnects the video feed. Tears roll down her cheeks as the consequences of what she's just done fully hit her. What was she thinking? Sure, he'll be happy, but she'll be miserable. Breaking up with him was the last thing she expected to be doing when she logged into Skype a half hour ago, yet here she sits.

"Maya?" Katie's voice is accompanied by a soft knock on her door. She tries to reply normally, but her voice must give her away because Katie's face is full of concern when she opens the door. "Oh, Maya. He's such a jerk."

She shakes her head, but Katie misinterprets the action to mean she's disagreeing with her insult. Finally, she finds enough of her voice to correct the real mistake. "I- _I_ broke up with _him_."

"What?" her sister sounds as shocked as Cam.

"It was the only way-" her voice catches, "It was the only way to make sure he was happy."

"Sorry? How does you dumping him make him happy?" her sister asks, perplexed.

She launches into an explanation of her logic, watching comprehension dawn on the older girl's face. She falls silent, waiting for a reaction.

"You know, I may have been wrong about you being too young to understand love," Katie finally says, wrapping an arm around Maya's shoulders and squeezing tightly.

Right now, Maya wishes she didn't.

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**A/N: Ok, so I made a split-second decision to end there. There are still two more chapters so there may still be time for them to reconcile! **


	9. Part 9: Cam

**A/N: Ok, Here we go! This is going to be a bit different, because Cam picks up right where Maya left off.**

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**Stay As Long As Possible**

**Part 9: Cam**

He stares at the screen where Maya's face had been seconds before, uncomprehending. What just happened? Had she really just broken up with him?

"Cam?" His mother's voice comes from outside his door. "Dinner's almost ready."

"Right. I'll-uh-be right down," he replies, trying to force normalcy into his voice, but it wavers the slightest bit.

Sensing something wrong, his mother opens the door, concern etched on her face. "Is everything ok, honey?"

"Uh, yeah. Fine," he lies, forcing a smile. It feels wrong to smile while his entire world is crashing down around him.

A knowing look crosses her face. "You ended it?"

He shook his head slowly, the realization finally hitting him. "_She_ did."

He can tell his mother is just as surprised as he is. As bad as it sounds, he never really expected Maya to be the one to break up with him. He always thought it would be his desire to stay home with his family that broke them apart. After all, they loved each other. Obviously not enough, though.

"I'm sorry, sweetie."

He attempts to shrug it off. At least now he has no decision to make. If Maya isn't waiting for him in Toronto, there's really no sense in going back. Maya made it perfectly clear that she can be happy without him. He can stay here like he's wanted to do since he left. He should be happy, but he feels like he's been slammed into the boards. He's the furthest from happy that he's ever been.

His brothers seem to sense that teasing him isn't a good idea when he goes down for dinner, and he eats in silence. Terrance texts him after he finishes eating, and he seizes the opportunity to leave the house and its suffocating silence. He doesn't want to think about Maya.

It's this thought that has him accepting the drink this time and downing it much more quickly than he should have before grabbing another. Terrance seems surprised at his change of heart.

"So, tell me about this girl of yours," his friend says, grinning.

He shakes his head. "There is no girl. Not anymore."

* * *

A week later he still can't get Maya out of his head. Drinking did _not_ help, and neither did registering at the local high school once more for the coming school year. He can't help but wonder what she's doing and if she's thinking about him.

Finally fed up with his restlessness, he grabs his skates and heads to the town's only rink. Skating used to clear his head before he started to hate it. At this point, he's willing to try anything.

He laces up automatically, feeling the hum of anticipation in his body just before he steps on the ice. He's done quite a lot of dry land training this summer, of course, so he isn't out of shape, but it's been about two weeks since he's been on the ice. He closes his eyes as he takes the first stride, feeling the cool air rush through his hair. His mind is blissfully blank, reminding him why he loves skating.

He spends a few minutes skating aimlessly, before he finds himself falling into the warm-up routine from practices. There is no room for thought in his mind as he concentrates on the drills. The cold air is biting at his lungs, but he doesn't care; he likes it.

Stopping at one of the players' benches for a second, he spots a few remaining sticks and a bucket of pucks from the last team in here. He picks up a stick and the pucks on impulse and starts in on the next set of drills. He's at the rink for much longer than he originally intended, but he feels good for the first time in a week when he leaves.

He finds himself at the rink every day in the coming week, running through the drills and practising shots. His mother looks at him strangely when he leaves at 7am for his morning run, and then in the afternoon for a couple hours at the rink or weight training. Finally, she makes a comment after a couple of weeks.

"You know, I haven't seen you this dedicated to your hockey in a long time."

He shrugs, filling a water bottle to take with him.

"Especially since you said you were quitting and staying here."

He shrugs again, moving to the freezer for ice. Truthfully, he isn't sure what he's doing. All he knows is that, for those precious hours on the ice, he forgets that she dumped him. He doesn't have to think, all he has to do is concentrate. He forgot how much he loved not having to think about anything. All he has to do is concentrate on where the puck is and where it's going. He's remembering why he started playing in the first place. He loves the feeling of gliding over the ice and mastering the perfect balance of finesse and simplicity to make the puck go where he wants it to. He started playing because he loved it, but he kept playing because he was good at it. Now, somehow, he's starting to love hockey again. He's not sure how or why, but it doesn't feel forced anymore. He's there because he wants to be, because he likes being there. The realization hits, a fresh wave of confusion after he was sure he'd made a decision.

Maya doesn't want him anymore. She made that perfectly clear when she ignored his texts, calls, and Skype requests. But over the past few weeks, he's come to realize that maybe he belongs on the ice, playing with the Ice Hounds, more than he thought. He thought he was decided to stay here, teasing his brothers, eating his mother's homemade dinners, and getting to know everyone all over again. But, thinking about it, he knows far more people in Toronto now than he does here. He has a life in Toronto, whether he wants it or not.

Surprisingly, these past weeks have made him actually miss hockey, and Toronto by default. He remembers what it felt like to anticipate getting out on the ice, no matter what it was for. He remembers his dreams of the NHL, crushed by his hatred for the sport. He remembers the excitement he'd felt at being drafted to the Ice Hounds and being called up early. He remembers what it's like to love hockey.

And just like that, he knows that if he goes back, it won't be because he loves Maya. It will be because he loves hockey.

* * *

His dad is waiting in the truck outside the rink when he comes out that night.

"What are you doing here?" He asks, confused. He's walked home every night so far.

"Your mother said you'd be here," his dad replies in his gruff voice. He isn't a man of many words. "Thought we could talk."

"Uh, sure. What's up?" He asks, buckling his seatbelt.

"You've been at the rink a lot lately, Cam. Your mother says you haven't called your coach to tell him you aren't coming back yet."

"Uh, no, I haven't. I will soon."

"Are you sure about that?" His father asks, eyeing him shrewdly.

"I've just had a lot on my mind is all. Hockey helps."

"Son, I know Maya meant a lot to you, but you can't go back to Toronto just for her."

"I'm not," he replies quickly. "I stayed there last year for her, but it's not just about her anymore. I actually _want_ to keep playing."

His father nods, saying nothing else as he puts the truck in gear and heads home. Before Cam can get out after he parks it, his father stops him with a hand on his shoulder.

"If she really means so much to you that you stayed in Toronto all of last year, playing a sport you hated, you shouldn't give up on her."

Cam frowns. "I don't- You said-"

"I know what I said, son, but if you're that serious about her, fight for her. She may not be the One, or maybe she is, but she's important to you right now, and I always told you to fight for what's important, didn't I?"

It's one of the the longest speeches his father has ever given him. He's almost too surprised to choke out a reply, but he manages. "Yes, sir."

* * *

A week before he's supposed to be back in Toronto for training camp, he sits with his parents in the kitchen. He wants to stay in silence for as long as possible, but he can't delay it any longer. It's time to tell them what he's decided.

"I didn't call the coach," he tells them, "I'm going back."

* * *

**A/N: Ok, wow that was pretty long for this story! The next chapter will be the last. Reviews are love!**


	10. Part 10: Maya

**A/N: Ok, so I'll save the long stuff for the end, because I know you guys actually just want to read the story.**

* * *

**Stay as Long as Possible**

**Part 10: Maya**

"Katie, can you get that?" Maya yells from her place on the couch.

She's spent much of her summer on the couch or in her bed. Katie has tried everything to get her out of her funk, but has yet to find something that works. Tori came by a few times, having forgiven her for the whole Zig incident during the school year, but she barely cracked a smile. Zig even dropped in once, to plead for another chance after he heard about the break up. She slammed the door in his face.

"Katie!" She yells again, turning her head toward the entrance.

The doorbell which sparked her calls for her sister sounds once more and, sighing loudly, Maya realizes she'll have to get it herself. Her parents are gone and Katie must have left without her noticing. She trudges to the entryway, trying to smooth her hair a bit before she has to face whoever is on the other side of the door. She hopes it's just the mailman.

Her stomach drops in surprise as she opens the door. This is _not_ the mailman. "Cam?"

With his hands shoved in his pockets and his hair falling in his eyes, he looks exactly like he did before he left. What is he doing here? He's supposed to be home; it's why she broke up with him.

"Hey," he says, giving her a lopsided smile.

"What, uh, why, uh, you're here!" She stutters, trying to recover from her shock.

"I am. I- Well, I know that you probably don't want to hear from me, but I just wanted to let you know that I came back."

"Cam-" she starts. She can't bear him coming back here and putting himself through misery for her. She thought breaking up with him would keep him away.

He cuts her off, "It's not because of you. Well," he amends, "Not completely. I remember now. Why I love hockey. That's why I'm really here."

She stands, mouth open in shock.

"I just, um, wanted you to know that. And I wanted to thank you. For helping me remember."

"What do you mean?" She asks, finally regaining the use of her voice.

"You broke my heart, and hockey healed it," he explains, then blushes and laughs in embarrassment, "That did not sound as lame in my head…"

She laughs with him as he rocks back on his heels.

"But anyways, that's not all I came here for. My dad told me not to go all in prematurely, but he also told me to fight for what's important. I don't know what's happened since we last talked, but I think the fact that you haven't slammed the door in my face is a good sign. So, I'll see you around, Maya," he says, grinning.

He turns and starts to walk back down her porch before she fully registers what he's said.

She almost calls out to him, but stops herself. The small part of her wishing for him to show up on her doorstep can't believe it actually happened. Just because he's come back doesn't mean he'll stand by that decision, though. She retreats into her house and closes the door softly behind her.

He basically said he was going to fight for her, but what if she gives in and he decides he hates hockey again and leaves? She can't take anymore of last year's roller coaster, but she's also miserable without him. She figured it would get better once she had school to distract her, but his being in school with her will not help.

Sighing heavily, she flops down on her bed to think it through.

* * *

The first day of school brings more nerves than just the usual return-to-class jitters. Maya can't help glancing over her shoulder as she walks toward her locker, looking for Cam. She spent a long time thinking it over, and she knows what she wants now.

She can pick her locker out in the row from a fair distance, owing to the bag of ketchup chips and the flower taped to the front of it. She smiles as she reads the message in the folded paper accompanying them:

_Maya,_

_Have a great first day. I'll be in the garden at lunch if you want to join me. _

_-Cam_

_P.S. Don't tell anyone, but I know those flowers are your favourite so I stole one from the garden… In fact, you should probably eat this after you read it, just in case._

Giggling to herself, she heads off to her first class, completely ignoring Zig as he waves at her on her way past.

Lunch can't come quickly enough, and Maya nearly runs from the English classroom when the bell finally sounds. Tori and Tristan look questioningly at her, but she doesn't have time to spare them the lengthy explanation this will take. She has better places to be right now.

"Hey," she says timidly as his back comes in to view.

He turns, smiling in a relieved yet apprehensive fashion as he takes in the sight of her. She realizes that he didn't know if she would actually come, and he still doesn't know what she's about to say.

"Hey back," he replies, the nerves more apparent in his voice than he probably wants them to be.

"Look, I thought a lot about what you said. I don't want to end up back where we were last year, with you unhappy and me trying to make the situation better but failing."

"You didn't-"

"Cam, there isn't a way for me to make you stop missing your parents, or make you like hockey, so there was really no way for me to fix the problem. But it sounds like you're in a better place with that now and hopefully it stays that way. I asked myself if it was worth the chance of it not working out and there was really only one answer. I love you, Cam, and I've been miserable without you, so yes."

"Yes?" He asks, clearly not expecting that answer.

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Well, I just thought… you know… you broke up with me. I figured it might take some time for you to come around to the idea, or maybe you wouldn't at all. Maybe there was anoth-"

She cuts off his rambling, "There was no other guy."

"Then why-"

"I thought if I ended things, then there would be nothing tying you to Toronto, so you'd feel better about wanting to stay at home with your family. I just wanted you to be happy."

He blinks. "Wait, so you dumped me so that I could be happy?"

"Well, when you put it like that it sounds stupid. I know it doesn't really make sense, but I was just trying to think about what would make you happy. I told you I couldn't fix the problem no matter what I tried, but then I realized that there was one thing I _could_ do, so I did it. I've been miserable all summer, and I told myself it would just take time, but time isn't going to help. I want to be with you, Cam."

"I, uh, I think I need a minute."

"What?" She asks, her heart dropping at the detached sound of his voice.

"I came back here determined to win you back, only to find out that the whole reason I need to win you back is not because your feelings changed for me, not because of some other guy, but because you decided to take a decision away from me. You can't just choose what's best for me like I don't exist!"

"I- I wasn't trying to! I was just trying to make it easier for you! I didn't want you forcing yourself to come back here just for me!" She yells back, unsure of how this took such a nasty turn.

"Well then you got what you wanted, didn't you? I came back to play hockey," he replies coldly.

"It wasn't just about you hating hockey, though," she snaps angrily, "It took a toll on me, all the back and forth. I wanted it to stop. I _needed_ it to stop. I hated waiting for your decision as much as you hated making it, so yes, I took it away from you, but I had every right to. I did it for myself as much as I did it for you!" She hasn't realized until right this moment that the words are true. She told herself she was just doing it for Cam, but in reality the pressure of waiting for his decision was too much. It may have caused both of them pain, but it took away that pressure that was always in the back of their minds.

The bell rings, interrupting them.

"Look, maybe we should take a day and figure everything out," he says, and she nods silently.

Her legs are on autopilot as they carry her back down the stairs and into her Physics classroom. Tori and Tristan shoot her quizzical looks, but she ignores them. She doesn't know what just happened, but it definitely wasn't what she expected.

* * *

The next day she's even more nervous, if that's possible. This time only a piece of paper is taped to her locker, with '_Garden after school?'_ written inside. It's not just her decision anymore, and that scares her. Her mind hasn't changed, but he could very well say he doesn't want her, and she would have to live with that.

Lunchtime comes much too quickly today, and she takes her time heading up the stairs. He's in the same spot as yesterday and turns instinctively as she approaches.

"Hey," he greets her, hands in the pockets of his hockey jacket.

"Hey back," she replies nervously.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. It was just a lot to take in. You have every right to be mad at me."

"No, I think we both had valid points."

"I want you to know that I'm not in that same place this year. If I start going back there, you have my full permission to run for the hills," he says, cracking the smallest of smiles.

Relief fills her and she laughs. "So you still want to-"

"I told you I fight for what's important to me. You really think I'd give up that quickly?"

She smiles, shaking her head.

"Good."

She doesn't get a chance to say anything else before he closes the distance between them and covers her lips with his. It's even better than she remembers, and she melts into the kiss as her arms wrap around his neck.

He pulls back, keeping his arms around her waist as his expression turns thoughtful.

"What?"

"Just don't break up with me again to 'make me happy' ok?"

"You got it," she replies seriously, and then lightens the situation, adding, "But it worked, didn't it? You're happy?"

"Yeah, I guess so," he says slowly.

"And it's because I dumped you! So really, it did have the desired effect."

He rolls his eyes as she grins triumphantly, moving in for another kiss. They sit on the bench in the garden, talking and laughing and kissing, and the smile doesn't fall from her face for the entire time. She knows she has homework and a curfew, but she doesn't care at this moment. Sitting in the garden with Cam is too perfect to be ruined by thoughts like that. She pushes everything else from her mind as they sit, determined to stay as long as possible.

* * *

**A/N: I'm not too sure how I feel about their little fight in there, but I felt like Cam was accepting it too easily if they didn't have a bit of a disagreement over it. I figured I would be mad if someone broke my heart because they 'thought it was best' so hopefully it wasn't too stupid. **

**That said, I would just like to thank you guys so much for continuing to read this story and reviewing every time! It's an awesome feeling to know that I wrote something that so many people enjoyed. This is probably the fastest I have ever finished a multi-chapter story, and this is one of only a few multi-chapter fics I've actually been proud of, so here's to growing and getting better! Now, for one last time, I will ask for you to type something in that beautiful little box and hit post!**


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